The Reality and Reward of Fostering

Esme, one of my current fosters

Amidst the coronavirus panic of 2020, I applied to become a palliative foster carer for an elderly dog with cancer. Despite the enthusiasm of my application, nothing came out of it and I forgot that I'd given my contact details to the rescue. Around six months later, I got a call from the rescue asking me if I could take on a new surrender.

He was a six-month-old American Staffordshire Terrier mix, who'd lived his whole life with his littermate. He'd never had any training, and it immediately became obvious that both he and his sister suffered from separation anxiety.

Duke was completely different to the dog I'd applied for. Instead of loving a palliative pup for the last few months of their life, I found myself with a six-month-old, 40kg ball of anxiety. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, and that brings me to my first reality of foster care:

You probably won't get the dog you ask for.

Sometimes this is literal. I’ve applied for several dogs, only to be told that dog had already found a carer (but would I be interested in this other dog?)

Sometimes it is more metaphorical. You may get the dog you applied for, but they won’t be exactly the dog you were expecting. This is part of the foster care adventure, and flexibility is essential. Shelter dogs experience significant levels of stress and often don’t reveal their true personality until they feel safe and cared for in a home environment. When dogs have come from a previous home, we often have a more accurate idea of their personality and needs, but misunderstandings still occur regularly.

This can cause some stress between carers and the rescues they work with. New carers, in particular, often have set ideas of what they can (and can’t) handle. Whatever the situation, honesty is the best policy. Let the rescue team know that you are struggling with behaviours that you weren't expecting. I felt embarrassed the first time I needed to admit I was struggling, but it gets easier. The more you learn, the more willing you are to admit you don’t know everything. 

It’s also important for the rescue team to know what issues potential adopters may deal with. And being honest with a dog’s flaws helps the rescue find a perfect match when screening adopters.

Beyond that, rescues should have resources available to help you. Many have dog trainers or behaviourists who can offer you advice and a listening ear. They’ve been there, done that, and they understand how frustrating it can be. 

Sometimes life tosses us a curveball which changes us for the better. All of my fosters, no matter how difficult, have helped me to grow—both as a professional dog trainer and in my personal life. Which brings me to...

Fostering will teach you new skills.

The best piece of advice I received as a young dog trainer was to get involved in fostering. I still pass on this advice when people ask. If you can, start fostering. 

Each dog will teach you something new. You’ll gain experiences with different breeds/mixes, different backgrounds, and different behaviours. Fostering is amazing work experience for the aspiring trainer. 

Fostering will stretch you. Sometimes it will stretch you beyond your limits and that’s okay. Learn to recognise your symptoms of burnout, ask for help (and accept it). Don't stay with a rescue that doesn't offer you support. 

Beyond teaching you training skills, fostering will teach you interpersonal skills as well. You'll learn about how to communicate behaviour issues, training plans, and advocate for the dog in your care. I have been tested by communication differences in my time as a carer, but each issue has given me things to improve.

Fostering is an emotional rollercoaster that will show you the best in animals and people, but it may break your heart.

I couldn’t count the amount of times I've cried over a foster dog or the amount of times I've called  a friend asking "can we talk a minute?". Things don't always end well; some dogs cannot be rehomed ethically or safely. And even when things have a happy ending, that can be sad too. These dogs steal my heart and saying goodbye to them, often after months together, can be very emotional.

Despite the tears shed, I have been overwhelmed by the resilience, courage, and pure joy I’ve seen in rescue. I’ve seen strangers make sacrifices for stray dogs. I’ve seen dogs come back healthy and strong from over a decade of neglect. I’ve seen Good Samaritans step in and save disabled puppies from being shot. There’s nothing like watching a timid shelter dog blossom into a carefree, loving, confident family dog.

Fostering is an incredible experience, but I don't want anyone to go into it blind. Be prepared for both the highs and the low. The reality and the reward go hand in hand, and both are essential to the experience.  I encourage you to find a local rescue and apply to become a foster carer. I promise you won't regret it (except for 2am in the dead of winter while you wait for the puppy to go pee…)